77. Time Stolen by Addiction
Addiction is a thief. It takes from us so many precious things: our health, relationships, dreams, and sometimes even our lives. Among the most devastating losses, however, is time. Time is irreplaceable—a resource that, once gone, can never be recovered. Addiction robs us of the days, months, and years that we could have spent building meaningful connections, chasing our aspirations, or simply living life fully present. Today, I want to focus on the time addiction stole from me: the time I could have spent with my family, my friends, or bettering myself instead of losing countless hours sitting in a bar, chasing a high that never truly satisfied.
One of the cruelest realities of addiction is how it separates you from the people who matter most. During the years I spent in addiction, I missed out on countless moments with my family and friends—moments I will never get back. Instead of being present for them, I was lost in the haze of alcohol and drugs, isolating myself in bars or darkened rooms where my only companions were my next drink or hit. I remember times when my family tried to reach out to me, hoping to connect or check in on how I was doing. They’d invite me to family gatherings, celebrations, or even just a quiet dinner at home. But too often, I made excuses or didn’t show up. When I did, I wasn’t really there. My mind was elsewhere, preoccupied with when I could slip away to drink or use. My addiction turned me into a ghost of myself, and the people I loved most were left to grieve the person I used to be, even though I was still alive.
My friends, too, drifted away. I wasn’t the kind of friend anyone could rely on. Plans were canceled, birthdays were forgotten, and promises were broken. I chose substances over meaningful relationships time and time again. It wasn’t until much later that I realized how much it hurt them to watch me spiral, powerless to pull me back. Some of them tried, but addiction is selfish. It blinds you to the pain you’re causing others, even when they’re pleading with you to stop. The laughter, the late-night talks, the shared experiences I could have had with my friends—all of it was stolen by my addiction.
Addiction doesn’t just take you away from others; it also robs you of the opportunity to grow and build the life you deserve. Looking back, I can see so many years where I could have been working toward something meaningful. I could have been developing a career, furthering my education, or chasing dreams that once seemed so vivid. Instead, I wasted those years sitting in bars, numbing myself to the world and letting time slip away like sand through my fingers. I’ve always had ambitions, but addiction has a way of silencing them. When I was deep in the cycle, I told myself there was no point in trying to achieve anything. Why bother when I couldn’t even get through a day without drinking or using? So, I stopped dreaming. I stopped believing in myself. Instead of taking steps forward, I stood still—or worse, I moved backward.
There were days when I’d think about going back to school, picking up a new skill, or pursuing a passion. But those thoughts were fleeting, drowned out by the immediate need to feed my addiction. The time I could have spent learning, growing, and striving for a better future was instead wasted in a haze of self-destruction. I’ll never know what I could have achieved during those lost years, and that’s a grief I carry with me every day. The realization of how much time I lost to addiction is one of the hardest truths I’ve had to face. Time is the one thing we can never get back. We can rebuild relationships, repair our health, and even rediscover our dreams, but we can never reclaim the hours, days, and years we spent lost in addiction. That knowledge weighs very heavily on me. I think about the memories I missed out on—family vacations I wasn’t a part of, milestones I didn’t celebrate, and quiet moments I could have shared with loved ones. I think about the opportunities I let slip away, the potential I never lived up to, and the person I might have become if I had spent those years differently. The regret can be overwhelming, a constant reminder of what I’ve lost.
But regret, as painful as it is, also fuels my determination to move forward. I can’t change the past, but I can choose how I spend my time now. I can make amends to the people I’ve hurt and rebuild the relationships I’ve damaged. I can chase the dreams I abandoned and create new ones. I can live each day with intention, making the most of the time I have left.
As I reflect on the time addiction stole from me, I’m reminded of something a counselor once told me: “It’s never too late to start over.” While I can’t reclaim the time I’ve lost, I can honor it by making better choices moving forward. Each sober day is an opportunity to create memories with my family, reconnect with old friends, and work toward the future I want. Recovery has taught me to value time in a way I never did before. I no longer take it for granted. Instead of spending hours in a bar, I now spend them coaching youth soccer, writing my column, or simply being present with the people I care about. These moments of clarity and connection are a gift—one I will never let addiction take from me again.
Addiction steals many things, but the loss of time is perhaps the most profound. It robs us of the chance to be with our loved ones, to grow as individuals, and to live a life of purpose. For me, the time I lost to addiction is a constant reminder of what’s at stake. But it’s also a powerful motivator to make the most of the time I have now. While I can’t undo the past, I can choose to live fully in the present, cherishing every moment and working tirelessly to create a better future.
And remember, if you’re struggling or know someone who is struggling, please don’t lose hope. If that had happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to help spread awareness today.
