8. Gratitude
Gratitude is a phenomenon defined by Webster’s Dictionary as, “the quality of being thankful.” The American Psychological Association (APA) further defines the phenomenon of gratitude as, “a sense of happiness and thankfulness in response to a fortunate happenstance or tangible gift.” One can experience gratitude for someone or something at a certain moment in time or one may experience gratitude more long-term as a positive character trait. Gratitude can be shown for both good AND bad things. I believe that gratitude is an acquired strength that can be enhanced with awareness and continued practice.
When I hear the word gratitude, the first couple of things that initially come to mind are all positives; family, friends, health, etc. Very rarely has my first thought ever been something negative. Don’t be fooled though! You can have gratitude for negative things, as well as positive things. What it comes down to is finding the positives, no matter how big or how small, within the negatives. Here’s an example; I am grateful for the hard times I experienced during active addiction because I learned some very valuable life lessons that I don’t believe I would have learned any other way. Hitting my rock-bottom was the most difficult day of my entire life, but I am extremely grateful for hitting it because it marked the beginning of my recovery journey, ultimately changing my life for the better. I firmly believe that if you look hard enough at almost anything, you can almost always find something good within it. Don’t get me wrong; there are a few things that are just plain evil and there’s just no getting around them; disregard those for now. In addiction it can be extremely difficult to find the positive in things when everything around you seems so bleak, but if you continue to consistently practice gratitude over time it often becomes easier. As stated earlier, gratitude is an acquired strength that can be enhanced with awareness and continued practice.
I believe that an extremely important aspect of gratitude is the ability to find new perspectives on certain things. In active addiction I was grateful for nothing other than drugs and the money needed to cop more. To be honest, I can’t remember having gratitude for much of anything even BEFORE my active addiction took full control of my life. I write this week’s column as a recovering addict with IMMENSE gratitude for so much in my life today; the good AND the bad. You see, something happens to you when you stare death square in the eyes, and still make it back to tell your side of the story. Plain and simple, rock-bottom changes people; I can attest to that. I have so much to be grateful for and I know that today. If I choose to start using alcohol and drugs ever again, all bets are off. Anything that I was grateful for before I picked up and used suddenly won’t matter much at all anymore. My family relationships will no longer hold much importance. My career will no longer be a priority of mine. Something as simple as my personal hygiene will even lose its significance if I decide to use alcohol and drugs again. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.
If you’re familiar with my story, you know that I’ve done a lot of dirt and seen a lot of dirt get done as a direct result of my addiction. Please do not mistake this for bragging because I am in no way bragging; I’m just telling my story like it is. I watched myself and other addicts do WHATEVER was needed to score that next drink or drug. It didn’t matter what had to be done, so long as we got our drugs. Today, my life is so much simpler and boy, oh boy, am I grateful for that! I make sure that I try to practice gratitude daily, in all sorts of different ways (prayer, gratitude lists, service, etc.). To be honest, it’s not always easy to do. If something less than desirable occurs in my daily life now, I pause and try to think back to how I felt during one of my worst days using alcohol and drugs. By doing so, it usually (keyword USUALLY) helps me realize that whatever I am currently going through, or dealing with in my sobriety is no comparison to anything that I ever experienced in active addiction. This is the very reason I make sure to never forget the way I was living in my active addiction; I know from experience just how quickly I can end up back in that position if I choose to pick up and use. I’m grateful that I don’t have to live that animalistic way of life any longer; so long as I continue to stay sober.
Did I mention that I’m truly grateful to be sober today?!?!
And remember, if you’re struggling, or know someone who is struggling, please don’t lose hope. If that had happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to spread awareness today.
