15. Mental Health Disorders
Mental Health… the big “M-H.” Unfortunately, it’s been a topic that our society tends to tip-toe around, not acknowledge, or even look down upon due to the negative stigma that is attached to it. With that being said, I’d like to start by stating that I suffer from mental health disorders as well as substance use disorders (SUDs). In the substance abuse field, they often refer to this as a “dual diagnosis,” or a “co-occurring disorder.” Today, I am able to admit this with absolutely no shame and no embarrassment. It wasn’t always like that. When I was younger, there was even more of a negative stigma surrounding mental health issues and that really deterred me from asking for help from anyone. I believe there is still a negative stigma attached to the big “M-H” however, I do think that over the past couple of years we have made huge strides in the right direction. There is still a lot of work to be done before the stigma is broken.
I entered rehab for the first time back in February of 2018. I was twenty-seven-years-old, and I had not been officially diagnosed with any mental illnesses upon entry. After a brutal, week-long detox from alcohol and Benzodiazepines (Benzos), I was finally transferred to the rehab’s psychiatrist for my mental health assessment before being able to officially begin the program (this is standard protocol in most rehabs that I’ve attended). I was pretty beat up by my addiction at this point; nearly fifteen years of daily drug (ab)use will do this to you. Who would’ve guessed, right? I don’t want to bore you with all the details about my psychiatric assessment so let’s fast forward to my diagnoses.
The rehab psychiatrist determined that I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), substance use disorders (SUD) and generalized anxiety. The psychiatrist started me on a regimen of non-narcotic medications that have had to be adjusted many times since. Unfortunately, there is no single pill that can be taken to help relieve the symptoms of each disorder that I suffer from. Furthermore, not everyone’s body reacts the same to certain medications. Trying to find the most effective regimen can seem like a hopeless crapshoot at times. I was TOTALLY against taking ANY medication due to the negative stigma that revolves around them (I’ll save that for another day). After all, I was trying to get off the medications that I had been prescribing to myself! It took years before doctors finally found an effective regimen of medications that I still use to this very day. I feel obligated to remind you that by me continuing to abuse drugs while doctors were prescribing me new medications, this process was dragged out much longer than it had to be.
In addition to the use of non-narcotic medications there are also many different strategies and techniques that I have learned to use in order to help me cope with my mental health disorders. Through a trial-and-error process I have found what works best for ME and MY recovery. Not all medications work the same for everyone and not all techniques and strategies work for everyone either. It’s about finding what works best for you. I have found that practicing gratitude, working out in the gym, running trails in the woods, spending time with my family, reading new books, and watching movies are just some of the activities that I use daily to help me effectively manage the symptoms of my mental health disorders. I take suggestions from others, both addicts and non-addicts, and I see if they work for me. If they do work for me, great! If not, it’s no big deal; we go back to the drawing board and come up with a new strategy, or technique, that we hope will be helpful when dealing with our mental health disorders. This can prove to be a long, frustrating process but I promise you it’s worth it.
If you think you may suffer from a mental health disorder, a substance use disorder or a combination of both like I do, just know that there are so many different routes currently available to help you cope. You don’t have to battle either on your own. Believe it or not, there are genuine people that are qualified and willing to help. I strongly suggest that you keep an open mind when exploring your options. If I wasn’t initially so closeminded to therapy, counseling and/or the use of certain non-narcotic medications I may not have had to experience as much pain and struggle as I did, both before and during my addiction.
And remember, if you’re struggling, or know someone who is struggling, please don’t lose hope. If that had happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to spread awareness today.
