22. The 12 Steps of Recovery (Steps 5 & 6)

The 12 steps have become a prominent framework for overcoming addiction and finding a path to personal growth and fulfillment.  Originally developed in the 1930s, these steps have since been adapted and embraced by various support groups and programs for a wide range of addictions and compulsive behaviors.  The 12 Steps provide a systematic approach to tackling addiction and regaining control of one's life.  While originally designed for individuals struggling with alcoholism, the steps have proven effective for individuals facing diverse challenges such as drug addiction, sex addiction, gambling, overeating, and more.  Each step of the recovery process builds upon the previous one, promoting personal responsibility, accountability, and a massive shift in mindset.  The steps aim to address the underlying issues that fuel addictive behaviors.  Last week’s column focused on steps 1 through 4.  Let’s dive into steps 5 and 6 this week, shall we?

Steps 5 and 6 form a crucial part of this transformative journey, as they focus on introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth.  In Step 5, participants are encouraged to share their deepest, darkest secrets and past wrongdoings with a trusted sponsor or another supportive individual, allowing them to unburden themselves and begin the process of healing.  Step 6, on the other hand, centers around accepting personal flaws and character defects, and cultivating the willingness to let go of these negative traits.  Together, these steps pave the way for individuals to confront their past, develop humility, and embark on a path of self-improvement and spiritual awakening.

Step 5: “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”  Step 5 is designed to help individuals confront their past and gain a deeper understanding of themselves.  It emphasizes the importance of honesty, self-reflection, and accountability.  This step is meant to provide individuals with an opportunity to openly acknowledge and share their past mistakes, character defects (any challenge in one’s personal character that may affect their way of life and interactions with others in a less-than-ideal manner), and harmful behaviors.  Step 5 of the 12 Steps can be broken down into three parts.  The first part of Step 5 encourages individuals to admit their wrongdoings to their concept of a higher power often referred to as "God" (this need not be religious).  This acknowledgment involves recognizing the consequences of one's actions, as well as seeking guidance, forgiveness, and spiritual growth.  The second part of Step 5 involves admitting the exact nature of one's wrongs to oneself.  This process requires individuals to delve deep into their past behaviors, attitudes, and motivations, taking an honest and fearless inventory of their actions.  By facing the truth about themselves, they can gain a clearer understanding of the patterns, triggers, and underlying issues that contribute to their addictive or harmful behaviors.  The third, and final part of Step 5 is sharing this inventory with another human being.  This can be a sponsor, a trusted friend, a therapist, or someone within the recovery community who can provide support and guidance.  By opening up to someone else and sharing their vulnerabilities, individuals can experience a sense of relief, acceptance, and connection.  Completing Step 5 allows individuals to unburden themselves from the weight of guilt, shame, and secrets.  Step 5 encourages self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and a commitment to change by confronting and acknowledging their wrongdoings.  Only then can an individual build a solid foundation for personal growth, begin repairing damaged relationships, and develop healthier behaviors moving forward.

Step 6: “We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”  In Step 6, individuals take an introspective look at themselves and begin to develop a willingness to let go of their negative traits, behaviors, and patterns that have contributed to their addictive or problematic behaviors.  This step requires an open mind, humility, and a genuine desire for change.  The focus of Step 6 is recognizing and acknowledging one's character defects or flaws. These defects can vary widely and may include traits such as dishonesty, selfishness, fear, resentment, impulsivity, or a lack of self-control.  It is essential to understand that this step is not about self-condemnation or self-blame but rather about developing the readiness to let go of these harmful patterns.  By becoming "entirely ready," individuals demonstrate a sincere willingness to take responsibility for their actions and the impact they have had on themselves and others.  This process involves self-reflection, self-awareness, and a genuine desire for personal growth and change.  It is important to note that Step 6 does not require the immediate removal of all defects of character but instead focuses on the willingness to embark on this transformative journey. Step 6 signifies a sincere willingness to let go of destructive character defects, paving the way for personal growth, healing, and the adoption of healthier behaviors and attitudes.

In conclusion, Steps 5 and 6 of The 12 Steps represent a crucial phase in the journey of recovery and personal transformation.  In Step 5, individuals courageously confront their past mistakes and share them with a trusted person or their higher power, promoting healing and self-acceptance.  Step 6 involves accepting responsibility for these character defects and preparing for change, fostering a newfound willingness to let go of harmful behaviors.  Stay tuned in the coming weeks for the remaining 6 steps of The 12 Steps!

And remember, if you’re struggling, or know someone who is struggling, please don’t lose hope.  If that had happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to spread awareness today.