23. The 12 Steps of Recovery (Steps 7 & 8)
The 12 steps have become a prominent framework for overcoming addiction and finding a path to personal growth and fulfillment. Originally developed in the 1930s, these steps have since been adapted and embraced by various support groups and programs for a wide range of addictions and compulsive behaviors. The 12 Steps provide a systematic approach to tackling addiction and regaining control of one's life. Each step of the recovery process builds upon the previous one, promoting personal responsibility, accountability, and a massive shift in mindset. The steps aim to address the underlying issues that fuel addictive behaviors. Last week’s column focused on step 5 and step 6. Let’s dive into steps 7 and 8 this week, shall we?
Step 7 and Step 8 provide individuals with opportunities for self-reflection, growth, and making amends. Step 7 focuses on humility and surrender, encouraging individuals to recognize their shortcomings and turn to a higher power for guidance and healing. It involves a willingness to let go of control and allow personal transformation to occur. Step 8 focuses on personal relationships and accountability. It prompts individuals to compile a list of individuals harmed during their addiction and prepare themselves mentally and emotionally to make amends for their past actions.
Step 7: “We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” In Step 7, individuals in recovery recognize the negative patterns, behaviors, and traits that have hindered their progress and caused harm in their lives. They acknowledge the need for change and sincerely seek assistance from a higher power, which can be interpreted differently depending on personal beliefs or religious affiliations. To effectively complete this step, individuals embark on a journey of self-reflection and self-awareness. They inventory their shortcomings, acknowledging the areas where they fall short or where they have developed unhealthy patterns of behavior. This introspection requires honesty, openness, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about oneself. With newfound humility, individuals turn to their higher power and humbly ask for help in removing these defects of character. This act of surrender acknowledges the individual's recognition that they cannot overcome their shortcomings on their own. By asking for (divine) assistance, they demonstrate their willingness to let go of their ego and accept guidance from a power greater than themselves. By seeking to remove these defects of character, individuals aim to develop healthier behaviors, attitudes, and relationships. This step encourages humility, self-improvement, and a renewed commitment to a life free from the destructive patterns that have contributed to an individual’s addiction.
Step 8: “We made a list of all persons we harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” Step 8 encourages individuals to undertake a fearless and honest self-appraisal, identifying the people they have harmed directly or indirectly due to their addiction or other destructive behaviors. It emphasizes the willingness to initiate the process of making amends, fostering healing, and rebuilding relationships. Step 8 prompts individuals to reflect upon their past actions and behaviors, acknowledging the negative impact they have had on others. This step allows individuals to confront their past, fully comprehend the damage they have caused, and develop a deeper understanding of the consequences of their actions. The process of creating an amends list is a vital component of Step 8. It involves compiling a thorough list of the individuals harmed, including friends, family members, coworkers, and others affected by one's addictive behaviors. The list must be in-depth, including both major and minor wrongdoings. The purpose is to encourage a genuine desire for reconciliation, regardless of the severity of the harm inflicted. Step 8 emphasizes the cultivation of a genuine willingness to rectify past wrongs. This willingness is the driving force behind personal transformation and the restoration of damaged relationships. It requires individuals to cultivate humility, empathy, and a sincere desire to repair the harm they have caused. The process of becoming willing to make amends signifies a shift towards accountability, growth, and the pursuit of a more positive and fulfilling life. Essential to Step 8 is the concept of forgiveness. By recognizing the harm they have caused and making amends, individuals open the door for forgiveness from others and themselves. Forgiveness is a healing process that liberates individuals from the burden of guilt and shame, allowing them to move forward with renewed purpose and integrity. Through genuine acts of remorse, individuals can rebuild trust, repair relationships, and experience the transformative power of forgiveness.
In conclusion, Step 7 and Step 8 of the 12 steps offer individuals a profound opportunity for personal growth, transformation, and restoration of relationships. Step 7 teaches the importance of humility and surrender, allowing individuals to acknowledge their limitations and seek guidance from a higher power. Step 8 emphasizes the significance of personal accountability and making amends for past harm caused to others. It encourages individuals to confront their past actions and prepare themselves to rebuild trust and repair damaged relationships. These steps pave the way for introspection, self-improvement, and healing, ultimately empowering individuals to rebuild and nurture healthy connections with themselves and others. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for the final four steps of The 12 Steps!
And remember, if you’re struggling, or know someone who is struggling, please don’t lose hope. If that had happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to spread awareness today.
